


Get In My Car (I'll Drive You Far Away)

by Anamakorga



Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Superheroes, Supervillains, The Difference Between Metaphors and Similes, The Guy Who's Bad at Evil Fell In Love With the Guy Who's Bad at Good, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22079134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anamakorga/pseuds/Anamakorga
Summary: "He's stupid." Taylor laughs. "But the kind of stupid that makes you want to protect someone from their own stupidity, and maybe watch them be more stupid, and maybe help them run from the police when they try to return a cat and accidentally burn down a house.""We got to keep Mittens for three years." Gideon chirps.Gideon and Taylor, before.
Relationships: Gideon Casey | Stormchaser/Professor Thomas T. Taylor | Professor Condescending, hero/villain - Relationship
Kudos: 8





	Get In My Car (I'll Drive You Far Away)

Taylor didn't even know what he was supposed to do at this point. He scrolled through his notes app again. 

_ Gigantic Robot.  _ Check.

_ Evil Lair.  _ Check.

_ Captured Hero _ . Double check, Stormchaser was sitting right in front of him. But after that his only note said  _ VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!! _ . He wasn't sure why he'd put so many exclamation points after victory, because this sure didn't seem like victory to him. Well, maybe he could ask Stormchaser, he'd know. He'd done some heroic bullshit before, and he was with the Foundation, so if anyone knew when an evildoer such as himself had won, it was probably him.

"Does it feel like I've won to you?" He asks.

"The side of evil can never win so long as there is hope in the world." Stormchaser says.

"Okay, yeah, cool, but in terms of just right now, in this room, have I won?"

"I don't - think so?" Stormchaser pauses. "What was your goal?"

"I mean, uh- winning?" Taylor says, as though that were obvious. 

"Well, I'm tied to this chair, and until I recharge there's not much I can do about that. But aren't you gonna torture me or anything, you know?"

"Okay, so then would I be winning?" 

"Are you- you know, actually a villain?" Taylor’s heroic adversary asks doubtfully.

Taylor gestures wildly at their surroundings. "Clearly. I have this lair, I have that-," He points to a metal monstrosity in the corner. "Giant robot. And I have you, trapped here like a rat in a cage."

"I will admit, that was a good villainous metaphor, you know." Stormchaser nods.

"I mean, It was a simile, but thanks."Taylor grins. That degree in English literature analysis really did have practical, real-world benefits. "What would you do, if you were me?” 

“Well, not be evil, for one-,” Stormchaser starts, like he’s about to give a pre-planned speech on the glorious nature of herodom and somehow convert Taylor into a pure, innocent soul. 

“I mean, if you were evil, and you had yourself captured here, and we were having this same conversation, except instead of you and me it was you and the other you, what would you do? To win?”

"I don't mean to be rude, or anything, but is this it?" Stormchaser asks in a way that suggests if he had his hands free he would probably be gesturing to the entire room.

"Is this what?"

"All you're going to do, you know. Is this it?"

"I mean, well, no. I'm going to win. and I'm going to have fun doing it. I'm just not sure how to get there. It's like when someone tells you there are three easy steps and then only gives you two." He's sounding increasingly more frustrated, and he knows it, but he couldn't care less anymore.

"That's never happened to me, you know." 

"That's because you're good! I mean, you get to just waltz into department stores and ask for things you need, and here I am, stuck scrounging for metal in used car lots. I don't know what to do. I never know what to do." Taylor collapses down onto the floor. "That's it. I give up. You can go."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, just let me untie you-,"

Stormchaser stands up and the ropes fall off him. "I untied myself a while ago. But are you - okay, you know? Like, emotionally?"

"I haven't been okay emotionally since I was six." Taylor says, but he's laid down now, so it's mostly to the ceiling. 

"What happened?" Stormchaser asks. sitting down next to him. 

"My dog died. So then I made a robot dog, and it acted like a dog and everything, but I knew it could never really love me. So I started equating my robot dog with everyone else too and now here we are."

"What's your real name?"

"Thomas T. Taylor. What's yours?"

"Gideon Casey. You've got a good name for villainy, you know."

"I know. You've got a good name for herodom."

"Thanks. What's the T stand for? My middle name is Harold."

"It's decorative."

"It's what? How-,"

"I mean, I haven't thought of a good middle name that starts with T yet, so right now it's decorative." Taylor sits up. "When are you going to try and convert me again, so we can get that over with and you can leave?"

"I could leave any time I like, you know. Do you want me to?"

"I mean, No, not really."

Three hours later, Taylor has a date with Gideon Casey.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you're one of the people who I've talked about this story idea with, then 1. you know it would never go down this way and 2. shhhhhh. Sometimes I need to pretend characters aren't massive assholes and write about a character dynamic that is fun.


End file.
